Tired.

What's the point in reading all this shit if nothing has changed.

Let. Me. Off...

God I've always wondered, do I really deserve all this good treatment you're giving me? I've done so much bad stuff in my life. I can't undo all those things I've done. I just want to make it up those these people, but deep down I already know. Doing all of these will never ever be enough.

Absolve me.

Ever thought about losing it?
When your money is all gone and you lose your whip
You might lose your grip
When the landlord tell you that you're due for rent
And the grass so green on the other side
Make a nigga wanna run straight through the fence
Open up the fridge about 20 times
But still can't find no food in it
That's foolishness
And sometimes I wonder
All we care so much about the way we look
And the way we talk, and the way we act
And the clothes we bought, how much that cost?
Does it even really matter?
Cuz if life is an uphill battle,
We all try to climb on the same old ladder
In the same boat with the same old paddle
Why so shallow, I'm just asking
What's the pattern to the madness?
Everybody in a #1 draft pick
Most of us aint Hollywood actors
But if it's all for one, and one for all
Then maybe one day we all can ball
Do it one time for the underdogs
Sincerely yours, from one of y'all.

Sometimes I wish that even when people treat me badly I'll still be okay with it and still treat them nicely. If course that goes without saying that the people that treat me well I will treat them better lar.

I don't believe I'm that sensitive lor. I'm normally having a really bad day so please forgive me for being so cold. I'm don't want to scold you so please just give me some time.

Reflection in the midst of all the work.

When will my mind stop playing tricks on me?
Things that haven't happened I'm expecting to spillover.
Things that have already happened are being imagined as worse scenarios in my mind.
You know, how tiring it is to be aware that such happenings are gone and pointless but to recall time again and again? I have debated time and time again with these issues that never seem to be settled. It's not a matter of making peace with your demons because they don't seem to want to stop tormenting me.

I'm really tired of you playing games with me. When will you stop?
When is it going to finish?
Its been like this since the start of the year and life has never been easier on me. Nights filled with insomnia and thoughts, wake up calls with a horrible start to a day by recalling what I was thinking the night before.
It is so fatigue-inducing that I just longed to have a day without thoughts, without memory, without contemplating, without expecting, without predictions.

I just pray for my mind to stop playing tricks on me. Life has been so tiring lately that I could no longer treat people as well as I normally do.
Been giving cold shoulders and avoiding contact because I'm so guility of accusing them in my thoughts.

Life will get better soon, I know it.
Afterall, isn't life about dancing in the rain, instead of waiting for the storm to pass?