Summary of things.

I've been too lazy to post the happenings between the period before A levels and after... Sorry ppl!!
However, I'm here now!
So it dosen't matter!!
Anyway, life's been crazy.
Well it isn't the crazy you'd expect.
But of course I've done the normal crazy shit the whole month of december.
Let's talk about A levels which occured during the month of november.

It's a period I'd like to remember.

Well, A levels started on the 5th of november and ended on the 28th for me.
A pretty long period at first sight, but when it starts, it'll finish as soon as it started.
To be honest, there are subjects which I felt I've let down my teachers in and there's also subjects which I gave a MAD amount of effort in.
One in particular is economics which I have to give credit to Mr Khoo for.
He really saved my ass I swear.
I mean I've done a mountainload of work but it never seemed to amount to anything.
However, when Mr Khoo taught me to plan all the questions before attempting a Case Study,
BAM
everything seemed to flow easily!
That was 2 days before Econs A levels.
Talk about in time.
So wherever you are,
Whatever you've been through,
and how little time you've have left,

there's always hope.

Speaking about hope, it's always there you know.
Sometimes when we're in really deep slumps we don't want to get out of that state and therefore refuse to acknowledge the presence of hope.
I can understand.
It hurts... A LOT.
However, when you've gotten yourself back on your feet, it will feel good.
Trust me.
We are instinctively happy and good natured people at heart. (:
Sorry, back to A levels haha.
Anyway, first week finished in a flash and it was like A levels was over already lol.
I did slack... but I still struggled to keep my momentum.
2nd week was relatively okay... and MCQ week was Fucking slack lol.
Yeah and like that, A levels is over!
I still remember Lucas whispering to me," It's over, baby."
Gay shit haha.
But yeah, IT IS FUCKING OVER.
I felt weird though, like there wasn't a purpose anymore, no more end in mind.
Lazy to remember what I did that day haha.
Maybe I went out or played bball.
Yeah and like that november was OVERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.

Now on to december!
I think I had 4 particular major things during december I guess...?
1.Prom night
2.Church camp
3.Genting
4.4D chalet which just ended.

1. Prom Night really great!!
I really mean it.
Prom night was fun and best of all, I made friends with someone who I look up a lot to.
I had to reach hilton hotel earlier because of the prom nominees event.
Here are the famous peeps!!

Our emcee was Bobby tonelli, a 987FM DJ!!
Everyone was saying how he sucks before he came and now when hes here, they all say hes great and shit.
That's something I don't really like about people.
We all judge too quick.
Me included.
We went ahead with our prom nominee practice as usual and everyone looked great. (:
Laura was a great partner haha.
Thanks for the short but great memories!!
After that we had a period to meet with our friends.
Took pictures and chatted with many peeps. (POLAROID HOR.)
They all looked great!
After that, prom night started!
We had pretty good food and I had to make the entrance with the rest of the nominees!!
After that we were given a break we had a questionaire.
A break again and the Prom King, Queen, Mr Personality and Miss Congeniality
were selected.
Prom king is mingyao, prom queen is audrey, mr personality is gerald and miss congeniality is ling ling!!
Congrats to them!!
The rest of the night was pretty neat too (:

Hey Partner!

                                                                Liang! Nuff said haha.
                                                                        Great dude.

                                                                           Mala (:

                                                                       Natalie!!

                                                                 Noob bella. (:

Issac!

                                                                               Bballzzz

                                                                And my class. (:

I couldn't take pictures with a lot of people I wanted if not this blogpost would have MANY more pictures.
After the prom night, we went to club!
We had a free entry to zouk haha.
It was my first time clubbing so yeah....
However, it turned out to be a fun experience!!
Of course there are things which I don't want to see there, the 'dark side' anyway.
That's life isn't it?
We have to embrace it fully, dark and bright.

                                                                  At zouk. (No, I wasn't drunk.)


2.Church camp wasn't very good...
I feel that I'm honestly not ready for God in my life yet.
One thing that made me feel that way was talking to a pastor and lets not go into details for this.
Yeah so, it wasn't really something I'd want to remember.
Yes there are good things in it but I don't to remember it because there are just too many unpleasant memories.

But heres something good that I've learned, you've only completely forgiven someone or yourself when you look back at that memory and don't feel hurt.

Makes me think.
Hmmmmmmmm...

3.Genting was great (:
There is a part of me that says that it wasn't what I expected but heck it, it was a shitload of fun.
I woke up damn early and walked over to 302 to eat!
QH parents treated me to breakfast... argh feel so baddddd.
But it's free, so....
Then we boarded the bus!! Pretty fun bus trip I'd say. We're only missing the guitars haha.
Checked into hotel and was with Sam, Shiman and YZ.
I kinda expected it because I'm one of the guys who are closer to the girls.
To be honest, I was a bit sian because I can't really do the stuff that guys do when it's just all guys.
However, being with them was cool too because girls' don't snore haha.
The first day we had KBOX, which was definitely FUN.
Then we bowled, arcade and ended off with YZ's bday! (While walking outside the hotel we did something YOLO too haha.)

Sometimes when the fun isn't there, we have to rely on ourselves to make something fun for us and stop the blame on the situation for being boring.

On the second day of genting, we did what all the kids do which was ride the rides.
DURHHHHHHHHHHHH.
Kinda humji to ride spaceshot haha.
We wanted to slowly take the less scary rides and end off with spaceshot.
So we started off with viking ship which was okay of course!
Then suddenly all those bastards decided to chiong spaceshot because of the mist which may cause spaceshot to close later on. (Which did later on + rain.)
I couldn't muster the courage to take spaceshot so I waited outside with the anti-spaceshot gang LOL.
Haha kinda regretted, it looked like they enjoyed it a lot.
Then we move on to corkscrew!!
It was a roller coaster which turns 360 with some mediocre depressions.
When I sat on the seat and put on the secure bars, I was like FUCK man, this is gonna get scary haha cause I never really took many roller coasters. (Surprise surprise!)
In the end, it turned out to be thrilling and one hell of a fun (: (By the way, saying YOLO really helps me in daring to take the rides lolol)
We ended off with some mass swing thingy which was totally fun!
It didn't have any depressions though which didn't make it scary haha.
We then took our tea break and went back into the theme park!
I was totally going to take spaceshot but the rain there caused spaceshot to close down damn.
I even queued!! But quite proud of myself la haha.
After this was free and easy where we SHOP and eat snacks haha.
I emphasize the shop because it's fun, bitches.
At night we kinda seperated, some went to pub, some went to sleep and some play taidi...
I slept... LOL.

Third day of genting we are finally going back!!
YES.
Sick of genting already lol.
I used to think it was big but now that I've walked through the whole of genting, I think it's really small.
Funny trip back with some dumbass who couldn't control his pee, but he damn sad la haha, nobody tell him alight at toilet before.
That's all! The rest was pretty normal and nothing big happened after that.
Thanks to JP for organising the event yeah!!
We love you JGP.

                                                                            Kbox.

                                                                    Leaving Genting.


4.4D chalet!!
LOL before this I accidently typed $D chalet.
Yeah it was REALLY costly lol.
We have to pay a lot cause many people couldn't make it, but I blame daniel that fag cause he dunwan come just because boring and need pay a lot. I also blame other fags that chose not to come despite being able to come and have nothing important stopping them.
However, chalet turned out to be surprisingly fun!
First day we had that fucking crazy 9hr bike ride nabei. (Wah I srsly love singing along lol damn fun I swear LOL) Mad fun.
Second day was mostly sleeping until afternoon and later BBQ and cards!!
It rained halfway during the BBQ and we had to bring in the charcoal lol.
I seriously don't get it lei, I see all the girls standing there around the table while JP and QH taking the charcoal and stuff.
I mean they just looked on and nobody helped ARGH.
I think even got one person ask," Eh someone go do this lei".
Then nobody responded, so I just went straight to help JP and QH plus do the other stuffs that ppl keep saying needs to be done but don't even bother to do it.
I think got some girls who helped but I can't remember who...
Sorry QH!! I got play with the cat when you asking us to help with the charcoal and that is my fault ps LOL.
I think sometimes we say and read too much but we don't put what we've learnt into action.
We have to be aware and really try to not make the same mistakes twice. I've made mistakes more than twice but I always struggle really hard not to see myself do it again.

I may fail, but that never stops me from trying.

That’s the trick, to be aware of your own flaws, acknowledge them and make a genuine attempt to improve.

At night they went crazy lol, drank a shitload of vodka and played truth or dare I think. (I was asleep so I don't know.)

Ekko slapped kevin,

Jacelyn played with the lights,

Ekko wanted to spray water on me but I told her get lost LOL

I think she spray water on kevin for it to act like holy water lolol.

Third day we mostly cleaned the place and went back home!!

Crazy chalet.

That's the end of my blogpost!!

I think it's the longest one up to date.

Maybe second longest.

I know I've got a lot of fragments and the language may not be good haha.

Here's what I've got to say:

~I think sometimes I expect too much fun out of outings and that I have a lot of thinking flaws.

I critisize, scold and act on impulse and have many flaws that I've depised others for having.

However, there is one thing that I know.

I will always go through things that I've done and the things that you guys say.

You may think I disregard what you guys say but even in the midst of shouting and mindless chatter, if I find what you say is sincere or something about me, I will think through it and make the best analysis on it with my perspective and knowledge.

I'll always be sure to correct my mistakes and swallow my pride if needed.

I may not be successful in doing this everytime but I can promise you that I will always give effort on my part.

Above all,

I think the most important thing we could have here is Sincere Intentions.

That's what I've learned.

With that, others things will fall in place.

BIG HUGS! (A tagline from a great friend.) (:

We have a new reserve of energy everyday, don't waste it on the small things.

Thoughts.

You don't have ANY idea how many bad thoughts go through my head each day and how high I demand of myself.

Sucks that I won't get a chance at you, because you really deserve so much better.

Promise.

I promise I will put all personal grudges and bad experiendes aside this night, to live completely in the moment.

Clarity.

Perhaps I'm the one who isn't sure of himself.
Time to pen it all down, must be sure and definite.

Bad.

You think all girl are sluts? Why don't you just shut the hell up and stop acting like that. Stop making assumptions off that stupid mindset, respect them.

Basketball entry 1:

You HAVE to make an open shot.

For yourself.

Have fun with your life!! Enjoy, relax and just make the most out of it (:

Giving.

To give and do things for others is such a beautiful feeling.
It makes you feel fuzzy inside awwww haha.

Making things for others, buying and words in cards especially.
Retained in my spiritual world, you shall be.
May we remember each day and pick ourselves up in even the most disastrous of situations.
That's why my purpose in life I feel may be to simply to love.
Not romantic love, but all aspects of life, to let love overflow into all our lives. (:

This guy.

An inspiration

I heard someone say that what you do proves what you believe. I Believe there are 3 things I do through this site and affiliated sites I was put on this planet to do 1) Provide for young aspiring players what I didn’t have as a young aspiring player: some direction and guidance as to how you can get better; 2) Show the world that you don’t need bevy of resources to become great at this game or any other game. You only need 2 things: 1 — To know what work is required of you; 2 — Desire & commitment to doing the work; 3) To inspire and be inspired. When I was young I wrote down this list of things that inspired me: some Vince Carter dunk, a game when Micheal Jordan scored 50pts in some game, a line DMX said in a song, etc. I always look for things that inspire me — people, places, music, ideas — and I envison, one day, there will be legions of very successful, accomplished poeple, in any field of life, that will say,

‘when I was coming up, this dude named DreAllDay, Dre Baldwin, inspired me, moved me, to go do sumthin. And I did something, and I appreciate that man.’  

 

Personal.

I'll be happy to take anything personal out of the way.
Takes a lot of burden off your shoulders and makes you a lot happier too.

I have... a lot of things, against a lot of people.
Trust me, that's why I'm always not talking.

But having better learnt how to take care of emotions, detach yourself from personal grudges, brings a certain extent of liberation you know?
It gives you that peace of mind you need to sleep at night too.
Something I can't seem to catch no matter how hard I pursue it.

“I used to think the worst thing in life was to end up all alone. It’s not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people who make you feel all alone.”

-Robin Williams

Last one.

One last paper.
And finally the pain will be gone.
At least,
most of it.

New perspective.

Moses taught me something, okay, reinforced something in me today. Its a really strong method to use. Many of us tend to set goals but fail to do the planning and the carrying out, that's why so many of us are unsure of our future and leave things in the hands of fate.
I'm not saying that living in the moment isn't good but, planning for the future can bring you really big benefits. When I really thought about it, it really made a lot of sense.

When you set a goal, you have to make it specific, create a clear path and don't lose your sense of direction.
Make sure its specific as hell and don't spare any details.
Know about what you're doing and be sure of your path.
That way, we can gain a large amount of confidence.
This is just a small part. I'm sorry if the significance isn't delivered in my post.

My thoughts on this? Always pursue your dreams.
Because,
as one path closes,
another one opens up.
It the theory of the universe.

There is always a way.

Beliefs.

I don't encourage arguing about beliefs to others. Of course it increases self-esteem and strengthens your faith, but all we are really acting out of is ego.
We just want to be right and it makes us feel more confident.
The point of an argument is to come to a conclusion which benefits both parties, not to just prove your point and make yourself feel good.

Compassion.

It's so beautiful when you do something nice to someone despite them treating you badly before.

You have just tilted the scale in universe.

These 2 words piss me off greatly.
"Who going?".

Reading.

Tuesdays with Morrie always makes me feel better. (:

I want to kill you so bad you know.
I really do.

Tired.

What's the point in reading all this shit if nothing has changed.

Let. Me. Off...

God I've always wondered, do I really deserve all this good treatment you're giving me? I've done so much bad stuff in my life. I can't undo all those things I've done. I just want to make it up those these people, but deep down I already know. Doing all of these will never ever be enough.

Absolve me.

Ever thought about losing it?
When your money is all gone and you lose your whip
You might lose your grip
When the landlord tell you that you're due for rent
And the grass so green on the other side
Make a nigga wanna run straight through the fence
Open up the fridge about 20 times
But still can't find no food in it
That's foolishness
And sometimes I wonder
All we care so much about the way we look
And the way we talk, and the way we act
And the clothes we bought, how much that cost?
Does it even really matter?
Cuz if life is an uphill battle,
We all try to climb on the same old ladder
In the same boat with the same old paddle
Why so shallow, I'm just asking
What's the pattern to the madness?
Everybody in a #1 draft pick
Most of us aint Hollywood actors
But if it's all for one, and one for all
Then maybe one day we all can ball
Do it one time for the underdogs
Sincerely yours, from one of y'all.

Sometimes I wish that even when people treat me badly I'll still be okay with it and still treat them nicely. If course that goes without saying that the people that treat me well I will treat them better lar.

I don't believe I'm that sensitive lor. I'm normally having a really bad day so please forgive me for being so cold. I'm don't want to scold you so please just give me some time.

Reflection in the midst of all the work.

When will my mind stop playing tricks on me?
Things that haven't happened I'm expecting to spillover.
Things that have already happened are being imagined as worse scenarios in my mind.
You know, how tiring it is to be aware that such happenings are gone and pointless but to recall time again and again? I have debated time and time again with these issues that never seem to be settled. It's not a matter of making peace with your demons because they don't seem to want to stop tormenting me.

I'm really tired of you playing games with me. When will you stop?
When is it going to finish?
Its been like this since the start of the year and life has never been easier on me. Nights filled with insomnia and thoughts, wake up calls with a horrible start to a day by recalling what I was thinking the night before.
It is so fatigue-inducing that I just longed to have a day without thoughts, without memory, without contemplating, without expecting, without predictions.

I just pray for my mind to stop playing tricks on me. Life has been so tiring lately that I could no longer treat people as well as I normally do.
Been giving cold shoulders and avoiding contact because I'm so guility of accusing them in my thoughts.

Life will get better soon, I know it.
Afterall, isn't life about dancing in the rain, instead of waiting for the storm to pass?

Thoughts on today.

Listen.

Its so easy to form an impression of someone with everyone telling you the same thing about him/her.
But to be able to find the good points about someone when everyone else
only focuses on the bad, thats true self-mastery.

Reflecting.

You know, life's just gonna pass you by.
I need to treat the people around me better.
Need to treat my parents better.
I owe them everything.
It wasn't until I sat down and thought about it for a while that I realised how stupid I was for getting irritated with the little things my dad and mom did, even though I didn't say it out.

I should show more love, NO, I need to show more love and appreciation.

You see, life is really fucking short.
You have to feel it, really.

Well, if you ever find yourself getting annoyed, its always good to do some reflection in the night. (:
God bless.

After a sick day.

Sometimes we may give up upon receiving a barrage of negative thoughts, but do keep in mind, that if you'd just be willing to give yourself a chance, to repel these thoughts for a period, the positive thoughts will take over.
Is it really worth it to live life miserably?
We have such a short lifespan.
Just keep that in mind.
Should negative thoughts come again, just give yourself a chance, repel these with positive thoughts and soon love will flow into your life completely.
(:

Time spent on complaining and jealousy.

Ya, when you're done wasting time on both, go and make something out of your life.

Graduation day.

Its graduation!! Fast isn't it. Actually I expected it already. Our senior said so already, these 2 years are going to pass damn fast.
I'm going to get straight to the point.
2011 was my basketball year.
I didn't stay in this school for the damn lessons honestly, it was basketball.
My passion kept me there.
But,
it was a reason.

2012 was my maturity year.
FUCK.
What a huge difference.
I've learnt so many things in the year of 2012.
But I don't think it would have happened without a chain effect.
Well there is this ONE person who started the chain effect.
The person got me thinking.
Maybe there is more to life than this.
Because honestly I was shallow before.
Dosen't matter.
I feel that I have gained so much.
Honesty, Compassion, Forgiveness, Patience, Perserverence.... yada yada yada.
I know it sounds boring,
but,
I became interested in these stuff.
Sometimes people come in and have a damn big impact on your lives then just go off.
Sucks yeah...
It dosen't change the fact that, that person made me thirst for more, that person made me want to know more.
That perhaps the change in one's life could be caused as easily as the touch of a button.
The use of your attitude in life, your perspective.

Anyway this isn't about me.
Its about today.
Farewell assembly 2012.
I've been hearing people say farewell isn't good blah blah blah...
Then why not just filter the boring stuff during the assembly and learn to digest the beautiful life lessons delivered by the speakers?
Fucking grow up.
All the while I've been hoping I could make a huge impact on farewell 2012 personally.
Yes, i'm fame-driven (Previously)
But this isn't about me.
Its about the whole school isn't it.
Like samuel said,
this JC wouldn't be the same if I took a single one of you out of it.
Don't fucking argue with me on logical sense,
just learn to appreciate the mentality of this quote.

"You all are of value to this Junior college."

If someone gave you value, you better learn to value yourself.
This is freaking familiar HAHA.
And yeah about life being a continuous cycle of improvement.
Well, my thoughts honestly:
We should always aim to be better,
AcademicWISE
PhysicalWISE
CharacterWISE
MentalWISE
EmotionalWISE
SpiritualWISE...
dunno got such word anot LOL.
All they are trying to say is,
don't stop.
There is always room to improve yourself and be of service to the world.
That dosen't mean you can't be content with yourself.
Learn to adopt continuous growth,
because,
we only live once.
We should get the most out of it.
And one day, look at yourself, and you will be the dream you have always sought to achieve.
And once you've achieved that dream, help others with theirs and seek further personal growth.

I want to talk about class time.
Class time was wonderful of course.
Mrs how so friendly of course lah.
Haha anyway,
I've had this wonderful privilege of speaking infront of the whole class about my heartfelt thoughts before giving out my gifts. (Big thanks to Ahmala!!! <3)
I told them," It dosen't matter if people treat you badly, you have the choice to still treat them well."
Firstly, I said this because I think that the whole world deserves to be treated nicely.
But degrees of niceness vary of course.
You shouldn't be damn nice to assholes of course.
But if the assholes could read what we are doing,
maybe they would learn to do the same.
Maybe they would learn to spread the love.
Create a ripple effect. (Multiplierrrrr woooo econs k nvm random.)
Well thats what I wanted to tell the class anyway.
I know there would be people who wouldn't get the message.
But I am also sure that there will be people who can understand the depth of what I am saying.

Mr kwok did a wonderful job with the peoms.
It was beautiful.
He gave each of us cards,
public side,
private side,
we were to read the public side aloud which was part of the peom.
Some of us did duets,
some of us did group reading,
but I think all of us could feel our involvement.
I can't remember all of the peoms but there is one thing I know for sure,
my attention was on the reading itself.
I wanted to hear more,
to dig deeper,
to find out the true meaning behind the peoms.
Because each line held its own significance,
and together they represented a value.
All these values are darn important,
don't forget that.
Because,
the higher you climb,
the more blinded you get.
Hold on tightly to your moral compass,
because it would point you in the right direction in times of uncertainty and uselessness.
I've developed mine.
It isn't perfect,
but its my definition of whats right.
Do what you think is right,
and be true to yourself.

Okay mental notes aside,
LOTS OF PHOTOS TODAY WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OMG DAMN FUN SIA CB
I SHOULD HAVE TAKEN MORE THEN DAMN FUN.
LIKE SHOULD HAVE BEEN MORE HIGH AND SHIT LIKE THAT.
MAYBE TAKE WITH RANDOM CHIO BU AND SHIT.
But I've really enjoyed myself today okay. (:

If you've known me for pretty long, you know I don't end off like this.
I always reflect on the bad sides.
Because nothing should be ignored.
Benjamin and Tao han didn't come today.
Tao han I'm not sure, perhaps hes sick.
But if you guys bother to think carefully, why do you think benjamin didn't come?
I don't think is he lazy lor.
If you really bother to realise,
we are really shitty to him.
I'm not defending him because I take pity,
I'm just saying the truth.
Maybe you guys ought to reflect.
Some people in particular.
But this was meant to be a joyous occasion,
so I didn't say a thing while you guys said stuff about him.
I hope you guys remember what I said during class time.
Treat.
people.
better.

Last thing of the day.
I want to thank these 2 teachers for hearing me out.
But lets just leave it at that.
My thank extends,
may you guys stand resilient in the face of difficulties,
resolute when others are unsure,
strong even when everyone wouldn't blame you for crumbling in certain circumstances.

3 things I'm thankful for today.

1. Meeting rosalind again!
2. Being able to finish my GP essays (Almost)
3. Being so lucky to meet yanzhu loh and liwei at limbang mac to do work together (:

Change will happen over time whether you like it or not. It can be for the better or for worse. But it will all be for the better in the end.

We're gonna die someday you know? Don't live as if you have forever. Most people do. I can't empahsize this point here but what I'm trying to say it acknowledge your mortality. Don't waste time, its ticking, everyone's time is.

Sometimes I look at back at my common test period and I wonder, what went wrong? I've lost trust in myself, grades gone haywire, people start to give me advice that dosen't even deal with the shit I'm in. Basically everything fucked. I'm always willing to start the day off with the right attitude and an optimistic outlook. But sometimes the way life treats me is really like shit. Fuck man, if anyone of you people reading this is thinking,"Well there are others' out there worse than you". Well then FUCK YOU. There isn't shit worse than this okay. Beaten down so badly I could die but too afraid to die and having a fucked up sense of responsibility to do what I'm supposed to.
My problem isn't temporary, its a fucking constant.
I don't know if you have to deal with this but its really tiring.
I'm just really really really tired.
I've nowhere to go and I can't stop, I've got no direction to follow.
Feel like I'm going to explode.

I love listening to music. Its the only time the thoughts will stop. (:

Hope.

Really what I needed today.

These few days I was getting really fearful of myself, scared.

In God of War III, Kratos overcame Zeus with his power which was given by Athena, otherwise known as Hope.

 Zeus was infected with the evil, Fear, and attempted to kill Kratos because he was afraid Kratos would kill him, just like he killed his own father Chronos.

 

Right there, Kratos overcame Fear with Hope.

 

Previously in God of War I, Kratos accidently killed his own family because he was blinded by hatred and desire for war.

He couldn't forgive himself and he was haunted by the guilt and memories every single day for 10 years.

 Nightmares and negative thoughts plagued him endlessly.

But throughout every single day of these 10 years, Hope kept him alive, despite being buried deep down in his soul by the guilt of him killing his own family.

 

But finally, he learnt to forgive himself during a fight with Zeus in God of War III and this helped to liberate the power of Hope inside of him, empowering him to kill Zeus.

 

To quote from pandora,"Hope is what makes us strong. It is why we are here. It is what we fight with when all else is lost".

Have absolute faith in your personality. You were made by god this way and to play this certain role. Until you fully understand this, nothing will fully make sense. Disregard what others say about your flaws, you are perfect in your own way.

Clear conscience.

Whenever we do things, we should do them with a clear conscience, be honest with ourselves. Negative memories won't be unavoidable, but doing things with a clear conscience will help minimise those and create a life of hope.

Do not be afraid when feelings of inadequacy arrive, they are simply ways that your heart uses to tell you,"I want to be better than this".

Responsibility.

You should be responsible for the things that you do.
Take charge of your own life. Most of the time, things that happen around us is a result of our
1.actions,
2.thoughts,
3.feelings
4.and words.
We should learn to take responsibility for all those.
1.Learn to act differently, mature as a result of experience.
2.If you know you are having a bad day because of negative thoughts, change it by thinking positive thoughts, again your responsibility.
3.You having bitter feelings? Give thanks, perform actions that change your emotions.
4.Said something wrong? Why don't you go correct it. Don't give a shit about what people say.
Don't feel like it?
Don't give yourself that shit.
Accept your responsibility.
Take charge of your life.

Wa knn feeling damn shitty right now. Too much pride inside of me alr...

Life (:

So many people learn to live, earning lots and lots of money to get a luxurious life. The correct attitude should be living to learn. Try life lessons from each experience you have , live life to the fullest in spite of circumstances.

True love? - Its when both people make each other better. Easy to understand, so fucking difficult to find.

Sometimes we have unrealistic expectations or the person we think we are in love with. I don't think thats right, geniune love is being aware of the other's flaws and accepting them for what they are.
Awareness comes first and if you are just relying on a perfect image on your crush, thats just not right.

Value of life.

When I see no point in my own life anymore, I give. I give to make meaning out of my life, to see its value. How do you get out of your dark times?

Sick and tired of all this fucking shit.

The Mayonnaise Jar and Coffee

When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar… and the coffee…

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly, he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.

So the professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with an unanimous “yes.”

The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.

“Now,” said the professor, as the laughter subsided, ” I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things – your God, family, your children, your health, your friends, and your favorite passions – things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full. The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house, and your car. The sand is everything else – the small stuff.”

“If you put the sand into the jar first,” he continued, “there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you. Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your partner out to dinner. Play another 18. There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal. Take care of the golf balls first, the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.”

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented.

The professor smiled. “I’m glad you asked. It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there’s always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend.”

Can't believe this. I've still a long way to go. And I to think that I used to believe that I was mature enough. Just a simple talk with lianghui, bella and kangxun until 10+ at jcube.

Life's good isn't it? (: Amen.

Kind soul came back to give me my POSB card today. Its something small, but things like these make me feel so happy, it feels good to be able to see that people are inherently good.

Dear lord, I pray for your guidance. To direct me in the right path when I'm unsure.

A simple gift.

Everytime I hear mr kwok talk, it feels as if all my problems have become really small. Perhaps they are. Thanks teacher. I'll always remember these lessons. Thanks for being a life mentor. (:

DAMNIT! How can you sleep without getting better? How can you be satisfied with the now? Don't you want to get better? Don't you want to achieve more? Don't YOU want to become better at life?

http://www.dragosroua.com/100-ways-to-live-a-better-life/

Just 100 ways to better your life (:
Can't really focus on it now though, I'm have to be completely focused on my studies.

A random thought: Why is there constantly so much irrelevant shit going on in my mind? Imagine how much more productive I would be without them. Imagine how YOU would be. I think that we all have memories that we choose to discard and not think of them anymore. But sometimes they just come back even though you feel that you have already settled it.
Don't waste your energy by settling it again in your head, just dismiss it. You'll be happier that way and much more energetic. (:

Been really tired these few days. Not myself. Can't seem to work out a proper conversation. Probably because I'm not feeling myself. Or probably thats the me that I have evolved to.

Sometimes I really wonder. Am I supposed to be like this? Am I supposed to be 'nice'? As some people call me. I used to be a really big douche in the past but at least I felt myself. Can't even go back to that personality state without feeling uncomfortable. Perhaps its the people I've been around, perhaps its just me.

Can't seem to be fun anymore. I can't even geniunely make myself laugh. So pessimistic huh haha! Fuck...

Gotta try again to be cheerful tml. I don't think I can find myself during this period. Gotta focus on studies and give back to people whom have invested so much in me.

What I learnt today: There will be a time for everything. Be patient!

Best feeling ever!!

Thanks to a particular person today who asked me to do physical chemistry today, I'm officially fucking motivated.

I'm back bitches!! Time to study for the period after A levels!! Not gonna give up!!

Can't believe this. Was too fucking nice alr, fucking loss so much self-respect.

神啊。。。

Today.

I really like to 做人. But sometimes its really 累. 为什么我这样呢. 请给我答案.

Reflection.

Sometimes I look at others lives and just wonder, why am I complaining? Why? Really.

To have complete faith is to know the truth yet still believe. To look on the bright side even when in the worst circumstances.

GOD IS GREAT.

Hit me hard today.

The culture I believe in. Choose yours.

I DESPISEEEEEEEEEE-LOVEEEEEEEEEEEE ALL OF YOU!

Both of us - BOB and taylor swift

And sometimes I wonder, why we care so much about the way we look, And the way we talk and the way we act and the clothes we bought, How much that cost? Cause it even really matter? Cause the flight is a uphill battle But y’all tryna climb with the same ol’ ladder In the same boat, with the same ol’ battle Why so shallow? I’m just asking What’s the pattern setting madness Everybody ain’t a number one draft pick Most of us ain’t hollywood actors But if it’s all for one, and one for all Then maybe one day, we all can rock Do it one time for the underdogs Sincerely yours, from one of yours.

Lyrics go out to every1 of yall (:

Life.

Beautiful video. (: 

Life has a balance of negativity and positivity.

Fight back, don't ever let anything bring you down from the good things in life.

God bless.

-

Get involved in your life! Make it meaningful. Don't get jealous over what others are doing even if it kills you. Make your own worth living.

Random thought.

"Brave the storm, because after that, comes the calm you so badly want."

Giving things.

Do the kind of things that come from the heart. When you do, you won't be dissatisfied, you won't be envious, you won't be longing for somebody's else's things.

We give not because we want something in return. We give for the sake of happiness and spreading love to the world.

-

Feels so good to have found myself again. "When things go wrong, its how you respond to it that makes or breaks your life".

-

I approve of myself and all that I do.

Perhaps someone should run this life of mine, I don't appreciate what I have at all.

Now.

So many negative emotions... I should not deny them but embrace them fully. But right now, I really can't take this. Its like everything wrong is happening all at once... Everything small is driving me crazy. Can I? Will I? Am I able? It seems like confidence has ran away. All that's left is this pitiful shell of negative emotions. Can you all just come at once? I want to deal with you so that you won't come to me later on. You're really making me miserable. Perhaps its me. Whenever it comes to this, I just say "I really don't know." I really hate this line. Makes me not know myself, even after 18 years.

Studies.

What am I doing honestly... Why am I stopping now? How badly do I really want this? It seems to me that you don't really want this do you. Sigh... I really just don't know.

You see all that above?
FUCK THAT SHIT. Motivation's coming along baby, and I won't quit. Never ever. Enough talk, lets go.

Being happy.

Yes, something you should always and strive to be. But sometimes I'm so sick of faking it. I have to act interested and tell myself I don't care, sure making others happy is a pleasant feeling and its possible to induce happiness, but sometimes I'm just so sick of it.

But somehow in the end, I know it'll be all worth it. Being happy is something we should all aim for majority of the time. Theres no question about it. Being happy brings meaning to our lives and joy to others.

Love.

I love life. I really really do. Love the people as well.

Honesty

Honestly, I don't think its that important.
You can lie for the sake of others and it seems like a selfless act, white lie la.
But aren't we disrespecting others if we lie to them?
Its like, what right do we have to not tell them the truth?
We don't have the right to judge how strong they are.
You could underestimate them.

I heard this thing that woke me up.
You should always tell the truth, but there's a right and wrong way to tell them the truth. An appropriate way.
Hmmm, makes the white lie part abit redundant ah...
Gotta crash the bed...
Credits to the woman who told me this.

Oh ya go eat astons western food, its really nice.

Pictures! Cause I'm too lazy to type haha.

Go and read this.

http://dreallday.com/2012/06/28/i-really-mean-it/

-

Its chem paper 3 next!

I've been so lazy wtffffffffffff... Told myself to relax and chill but I'm being seriously fucking lazy wtffffffffffff #tornapartbeinghappyandlazyorhardworkingandmiserable

Today's an exam dayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

Been having exams these 2 days and...
TAN BAI SHUO,
I've learnt a few things about myself and things I can do to help myself.

Firstly, I like exams. WTF right.
Wait, let me explain.
In the hall, where everyone is like concentrating on doing their work, I feel more inclined to do the same.
Other thoughts fade away.
I only think about the questions and doing my work.
For half of the time anyway.
But I love it. The peace, the focus, being concerned about ONLY 1 thing.
Its kinda like keeping life simple if you think about it.
We shouldn't overthink at certain points in life.
Sure, there will be points where we need to think "deeper" and stuff.
But when the time comes, I believe that we will know what to do.
For now, keep things simple, be nice and life will be nice back to you.
For me, I overthink sometimes and I make things miserable for myself.
Worse still, I can't contain my mood and my actions affect others.
I'll try really hard to not let that happen, but the best I can do is the go into a ignoring state.
However, to know that my miserable state is caused by myself and not by others kinda gives me a sense of relief.
Its like the 80-20 rule mr kwok told me about.
Everything in life is related to the 80-20 rule.
80% of my problems are caused by 20% of the causes.
Yeah this rule fucking helped alot.
Of course you have to be conscious of the 20 lah.
But one thing I really learnt from here is that, Xiao shi bu yao guan.
Means, "small things heck care".
Not all small things, just the ones that make you feel bad.
Because you have to reserve your energy for more important things.
For me ah, I like to heck care so that later I still got some positive energy to share with my family and friends!!

Secondly, keeping calm.
Sounds easy right? But not as easy as you think.
I'm not sure but for me I just learned it. Its like after I completely failed my chemistry paper 2.
Went back home to sleep.
Wasn't sad and all because I think I wanted to concentrate on my next paper or perhaps I failed so bad I didn't even bother already lol.
Ya I slept. I FREAKING SLEPT.
This is really weird because I'd normally force myself to stay awake and do revision. (I hate wasting time)
But then I didn't regret it. I did a maths mock paper and felt really calm.
Like really calm!!
Its wonders what sleep can do!! (lol yes very shallow I know but wait)
I thought about for a while and remember something mrs loh said. (My J1 Pe teacher/bball lao shi)
"Zhui zhong yao jiu shi yao enjoy life."
Sorry my han yu pin ying sucks, haha.
Means, the most important thing is to enjoy life.
Like my dad always told me,"SO STRESSED OUT FOR WHAT, ENJOY LIFE MAH, don't like your mom likedat, always bring work back home, end up so stressed."
Kinda true actually.
Even mr kwok looks that way.
He said he's really slack in NJ.
What I took from thinking from this is that: Learn how to enjoy life, don't be so stressed. Take a break, abandon your worries, bathe yourself in positive energy. Enjoy lunch. Quote from my dad, "HUNGRY MUST EAT LAH."Feeling sleepy? Take a nap.
Of course that dosen't mean you enjoy life and abandon all the priorities.
Do remember to put in your hard work.
But,
Enjoy putting in work.
Enjoy what you do.
Smile at others and Life will smile at you.
Appreciate your blessings. (I can't emphasize this enough.)

Haha felt like blogging after reading Nat tan and teresa zhou's bloggies. Stupid good english ppl make rly interesting posts. Maybe I need up my eng lvl too!!!
Sam's posts are rly interesting too, even though she uses singlish. She got me into blogging, owe alot to her!!

Haha all in all, I wanna be thankful to life. Sometimes I may be really stressed out and just wanna fucking kill everybody, but I know that is only because I'm overthinking. I live for these moments, to just love life, be able to mature bit by bit, know that this is okay, that is okay, morals, what I should do at certain points in life, learning!!

Omg my this post rly long.
I love it.

Haha if you're reading this, THANKS GOD! You've really changed my life. You make me love everything in life. You make me see things in a more positive light. You make me want to love the people around me more. You teach to be patient, to be forgiving, to be happy and when problems come about, to face them calmly, to take them on with courage and to stand up once more when I've failed. You give the maturity to do the right things at the right time. And when I don't know what to do, you give me wisdom to figure out.
I'm glad I've been exposed to christianity.

In all honesty. I know that sometimes I've cursed at you for not helping me in my time of need. But I know you did that for a reason. You aren't obliged to help me always anyway. But I just wanna thank you for helping me willingly at times.
I'd love to find out all the answers in life. To know why people do things, how their thought processes go and why certain things occur. In summary, to know absolutely EVERYTHING.
But life wouldn't be fun if I had all the answers. Which is why you didn't give it all to me. You wanted me to find things out for myself and learn slowly.
For that, I thank you once again. From the bottom of my heart.

I don't know how to sum up this post so Imma just use some pictures. Feel like adding in some fucking awesome quote but I don't know any. haha I'm sorry. But I hope you like these! I've been using them as my Iphone wallpapers for quite a while.

Oh ya and I just read a couple of quotes,This one is really nice.
"Your difficulties are used by the father to produce Christ-like character."

Signing off!

When stressed out,

I believe that everything will work out in the end. I believe that I will be able to make ends meet. Should I not be able to achieve my goals despite my hard work, I believe that God has something better in stall for me.

Don't quit.

"I don't quit motherfuckers. I just regroup and FUCK YOU UP." - dre baldwin

Living life!

Your mind is like a transmission system, you need to have good thoughts to emit good frequency, hence attracting what you want.

Things can change... Like REALLY quickly.

We can't control what our environment throws at us, but we CAN control our response to it (:

Just another day.

You should be concerned about making out the most of your life. Chasing your dreams, helping others, getting good results, doing what you want.

No time to think about others lives.
I feel that it will just take energy from you. Instead of thinking about it, why not just go ahead with what you're currently doing.

If you are really determined to help someone or something, sooner or later an opportunity will pop up for you.
So in the mean time, make the most out of what you are doing, FOCUS ON THE NOW.

Be happy and love your life!!
Smile, because not all of life's problems are on you. (:

Studying away.

A life without worries.

Just something I wanted to share. (:

Bday celebration!! Me N THAI PRINCE

Today was great!!! A fun college day! Much more fun than boring, ppl who said it was boring... Still okay leh.

Oh ya! Have to thank the gang!! Really sweet of them to celebrate me N phaiboon bday tgt!! Thanks alot guys!! Didn't take a photo...! :/ But got bday celebration alr very happy alr haha. Thanks ppl!! Will remember this!! (:

Speechless.

Today started off with me being really tired and not wanting to go to school.
However, I just dragged myself to school in hopes of not missing lessons.
Who knew today would be so...

Wonderful. Haha.
Can't believe they celebrated my bday. I feel like I don't deserve this at all. But all in all, I'm really happy. Speechless happy!! In fact, I could die happy. Haha.
This is just unbelievable.
Its like...

A dream.
Am I dreaming? Why am I so lucky... I really don't understand. I love these people!! (: Sorry I couldn't post all the photos, some of them haven't been uploaded yet.
If I could use one word to describe how I feel now, it would be "Blessed".

Blessed with these precious friends of mine.

Confused.

The answers are always there. Just that sometimes when I need them, they disappear quickly. I lose direction and focus, then easily mess up.
Today was a really good day! (: I'm really blessed to have Owens, even though we like a slack Clan, we're the closest leh. That's something the other clans don't have. Really happy.
Its just like Natalie said! "If we take the microscope off the things that make us upset, We'd realize that the littlest things are enough to make us happy."
Focus on the good and disregard the bad.
You can only learn so much, don't dwell on it so much. Move on.
AWESOME DAY TODAY.